Popcorn has NO calories?

Growing up in the 80’s all our mothers were on diet. ALL THE TIME.

I can’t remember a time when the old duck wasn’t trying the latest fad. From Fibre Trims to Slim Slabs, and the weekly weigh-ins at Weight Watchers, the cycle never ceased - nor did the weight gain!

What I remember most about Weight-Watchers was how the whole family suddenly had to be on diet too.

Let me explain the idea behind Weight-Watchers.

Food is grouped into various categories like starches, fats, fruit, protein and vegetables. Each food is given a mass equal to 1 unit, hence every food has to be weighed so that it is 1 unit.

A plump 75kg woman would be allowed a daily unit-allowance similar to this:

5 units starch, 2 units protein, 3 units fruit, 2 units fat, and unlimited amounts of specific “free” vegetables with popcorn being one of them!

Suffice to say the 2 fat units where used up in your morning coffee creamer, and the protein unit was a Lilliputian-sized chicken breast. Don’t even get me started on the fact that 1 starch unit was a Provita.   No wonder my growth was stunted and I sprung my first pubic hair at 17.

I am now a healthy 35 year-old man with a BMI of 30+.  Okay, that’s obese.  I blame popcorn. I was of the understanding that popcorn was a “free” vegetable.

As the title of this book suggests, don’t believe everything you think.  I some how doubt that the Weight-Watchers founders actually listed popcorn as a “free”. My skeletal siblings and I made it up as a survival strategy during the diet-years.  We convinced ourselves, and mom, that it was “free” so as to avoid malnourishment!   As time passed by this delusion became etched as fact and is now the reason for my roundness. 

Throughout my early 20’s I would eat popcorn guilt free.  1 large box a day.  “It’s only air,” I would tell myself, “I saw it in the weight-watchers book as a free.”

The facts of popcorn’s calorie content  are:

1 cup of air-popped popcorn (8grams) is 31 calories.  A large box of popcorn is 15 cups or 496 calories.  *

This means I was eating 3472 calories too much every week for 10 years.

Assuming I was living a sedentary lifestyle, the “free” 3472 calories extra per week for 10 years equates to 241 kg of weight gain! ** Thank goodness I exercised and didn’t live a sedentary lifestyle.  But it does explain my current BMI of +30!

      I still thank popcorn for saving me from starvation in the 80’s  

      though!

*             www.caloriecount.com

**             3400 calories = 1 pound of fat  / 7480 calories = 1 kilogram of fat

Best Seat on the House

Why sitting at the back of the theatre is the ‘worst” seat in the house

Friday night ticket counter at East Gate

Cashier chewing gum. 

“Where would you like to sit?”

Danny K look-a -like with gold chain and popped collar.

 “Howzit! At the back please. It’s the best place to sit. Shweet Bru”

WRONG!

Why do you believe this?  Another piece of misinformation probably passed down from your grandmother ‘cause she was too frail to walk down the stairs of the theatre after her hip-replacement. 

The idea stuck and now you only get 50% of your movie going experience.

Think about it.  Not only are you at the furthest place possible from the screen, but the genius of 7,1 Dolby digital surround-sound will be removed from your silver screen encounter.

The idea of the big screen is that you get lost in the picture.  You are not here to view game from a distance.   Move forward to a place where the whole screen is in your peripheral vision.  Then make sure you have a level eye-line to the screen.  There is nothing worse than leaving the cinema with a crookneck from looking upwards for 2 hours.

Most importantly look at where the speakers are positioned.  You want to be smack-bang in the middle.  That where the sound technician has pointed them and that’s where you should sit.  Not to mention the Oscar wining sound design that creates the feeling you are being surrounded by dinosaurs or swimming with the dolphins.

How the Friday night ticket counter conversation should read is like this.

Cashier still chewing gum. 

“Where would you like to sit?”

Danny K look-a -like with gold chain and popped collar.

 “Howzit! Middle row, middle seat. Shweet Bru”

There is however one exception to this middle-middle rule.  3D glasses have brought an added dilemma to the equation.

Chances are you will be seated in a cinema with a centre-isle.  If you watch a 3D film seated at the isle you will have the reflection of the stairway rope lighting in your glasses.   Always ask to be seated two seats in from the isle to prevent this reflective irritation.

The revised Friday night ticket counter conversation for 3D films goes like this.

Cashier playing with chewing gum. 

“Where would you like to sit?”

Danny K look-a -like with gold chain and popped collar.

 “Howzit! Middle row, middle seat, 2 rows in from the isle. Shweet Bru”

Repeat after me. The best seat in the house is not at the back.